News and Events

Aren’t You Bossy Asking To Ban The Word “Bossy”?

Thu, March 13

Sheryl Sandburg quote “I want every little girl who's told she's bossy to be told instead that she has leadership skills." Her comment has touched many “bossy” nerves. I, frankly, had to control my anger, before I could write something to debate “Ban Bossy” campaign. I carefully choose my word “debate” not to appeal too bossy about it!

Looking back, I had many “bossy” men and women in my life. Sure some bothered me, challenged me, and even mentally hurt me. But they also have taught me many important lessons in my life. Most importantly, they inspired me to do my best, they taught me to be resilient and brought me to go after what I want in life. Without them, I have no doubt I would have never become who I am today.

I would have never overcome my shyness and dyslexia. I would have never become a Table Tennis Champion. I would have never move to the United States to start a new life. I would have never married the most wonderful man I met, my husband of 28 years, Rick. I would have never become a Chef. I would have never started my own business nor wrote more than a dozen healthy cookbooks. I would have never written the Personal Fitness Chef Certification Program that teaches healthy eating and cooking. That program would have never inspired thousands of people in this country to change the way they eat, prepare healthier food, change their lifestyle and even inspired many to start their own business. I would have never raised a fine young men that is my son, Nick. I would have never own a house nor a car. I could go on and on, the point is that I certainly would not have the wonderful life I have today, if it was not for those “bossy” people.

I, too, have been called “bossy” on many occasions. I have been called a great leader as well. Two words that have different meanings. Thinking about it; doesn’t any leader, at some point in his or her life, becomes bossy, as he or she needs self-confidence to be a leader. Sure there is a difference between self-confidence and being authoritarian. Maybe the focus should be on personal “attitude” rather than on the word “bossy”. Why, because “attitude” is about personal view, opinion or general feeling about something or things. It is about body language (conscious or unconscious for that matter) while interacting with others. It is about manners which can be from assertive to arrogance. Proper attitude is what can give the word “bossy” the right positive image!

I will conclude with this. Thank you all for the life lessons and for those who have “bossed” me around all these years. Thank you, Sheryl Sandburg, to have reminded me never to lose track of the real value in all the “bossy” people and leaders I had or will have in my life. Thank you for reminding me the importance of seeing beyond a simple word, for reminding me to focus on what ultimately matters, and for reminding me how important it is to “look in” to improve myself. The right values, attitudes and skills are what ultimately will make a good leader. I simply cannot support the “Ban Bossy” campaign knowing it is the wrong message. What I support is inspiring others to live their lives with passion, self-confidence, respect and compassion. Those are the traits I saw in the leaders I admire and that inspire me.